Tag: twin ultrasound

Superstitions and Cheesecake

Grief and Infant Loss

March 25, 2016 I had a “feeling”. I told Matt and he immediately said no way, but I just knew. So after we tucked our older kiddos into bed for the evening, I went down the street to Target and bought a test. And ice cream. Because either way, I needed comforting. 😉

I got home and Matt really wanted me to wait until morning to test, but I just couldn’t do it. I had to know right. that. moment. Just as soon as I sat that test down, the positive line showed up. We were pregnant. Again. But we had already decided that we were done having babies. I have so many complications during each pregnancy, and our youngest baby of 3 was only 11 months old at this time; and the oldest had JUST turned 4. We were done. But God….He always has bigger plans for us than we do. Ok, so another biological baby wasn’t in our plans for our family, but we had planned for more kids by way of adoption, so all in all, not a big deal to be adding another this way too. Not our original plan, but one we would happily adjust to.

Leading up to my appointment on April 11th, we had so many things pointing our minds towards twins. 1) We aren’t superstitious by any means whatsoever, but the week before our first ultrasound, I cracked open a twin yolk egg; something I’d never done before. I jokingly googled “twin yolk egg” and discovered that it meant either I was pregnant with twins or I would be eating an extra yolk-y omelette for breakfast that day. We laughed it off and decided that of course it was the breakfast part of that discovery.

2) Our oldest, who had just turned 4 at the time, insisted that there were 2 babies in my belly when we told them that we were having another baby. 3) My SIL has dreams. She accurately dreamt of the gender of each of our babies and actually told me we were pregnant each time before we even knew. This time around, she had a dream we were pregnant the week before we found out and at the end of her dream, there were two babies. 4) Some random older man at a grocery store saw me out with our 3 kids and started making small talk with me about them and then smiled and said “soon you’ll have your own basketball team” and winked at me. I replied “oh no! Even if we have another, that’s only 4 and a basketball team is minimum of 5”. He smiled and said “I know and you’ll see”. There were other “signs” as well, but these are the ones that really stand out. When we got to our first dr’s appointment and only saw 1 baby on the ultrasound, I was a mixture of relieved and truly disappointed.

(I even asked the NP that did the ultrasound what that extra circle was in the upper left of that dark area.
She assured me it was only the yolk sac for the baby.)

I had secretly been prepping myself to find twins that day. Matt & I had even joked that if we were having twins, we would go eat at Cheesecake Factory because twins required something really good. Instead, we had Indian food. Also really good, but not cheesecake and we had been working out and eating healthy, so cheesecake was much more of a treat than Indian at that time. 😉

Fast forward to May 13. We went in for our 12 week scan. I was actually only about 11.5 weeks at this time, but close enough for the nuchal thickness measurement. We got settled into the ultrasound room and got started and my hubby, the jokester says “there’s the first baby” when the sonographer put the wand on my belly. She moved it around a little and said “and there’s the second!” Ummm…..WHAT?! HE. WAS. JOKING! And she wasn’t! We really were in fact, having TWINS! Identical twins as we later found out that day! Poor lady had to stop the ultrasound for a good 7 minutes because we were just laughing and laughing. My belly was shaking too much from the laughter to continue. She did say that it totally made her day though. =) I should have insisted we go for cheesecake after this scan, but instead we went to Sonic and got milkshakes. haha

This was the only picture we were able to get of them “together” that day. Just their sweet little heads. <3 My FIL was in town on a visit and had kept the other 3 kids for us so when we got home that day, we were able to tell him in person that we were adding grandchildren 4 & 5 to the family rather than just #4. We had actually just told him the day before that we were pregnant! 

How I wish we could go back to that day….

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